Leaving
by goldstarberry
Summary: Emma Swan is leaving one of her first jobs in Boston. She's ready to move on and be on her own. But telling a certain someone is going to be hard.


AN: This is my first attempt at a Once Upon a Time fic. It's just a little glimpse into a possible past relationship Emma may have had.

I was leaving.

It was so strange. I wanted to leave more than anything in this world. But as I cleaned out the drawers in my desk, the only thought I had was I would have to say goodbye to her.

So much history, so many feelings, and so much love would be reduced to a final goodbye. And the thought of it nauseated me.

Fucking around with someone you work with is never a good idea. It's why I'm leaving to work alone. But when the boss wanted me to train someone new… It was all downhill from there. And now? Well, now we barely talked, we barely looked at each other, and I had a feeling that we barely thought about the other - except when our very similar masochistic tendencies took over. Why would we want to think about each other? Why put ourselves through that?

The pain of knowing that it was over and the likelihood that it would never be real again always reared its ugly head.

I didn't want to tell her in a text message, but I felt like that was the best way. The easiest way. For both of us.

I was sitting on my apartment balcony, the sounds of the Boston streets surrounding me. I knew that if I just pressed send it would be the best decision I had ever made. I needed it to be over. We both needed it to be over.

The finality of us was never something that we approached. The inevitability of us always hung in the ether like magic and perfume.

But if there's anything I've ever learned in life, it's that magic always comes with a price. And my price paid was that I would never be completely over her.

We decided - stupidly, of course - to meet one last time to say goodbye. Why did either of us think it was a good idea, I'll never know. It was unstoppable, though - just like the rest of the relationship had been.

It was warm that night as I pulled up to the park. I almost turned my car around three times, but I decided to just go through with it. I'm sure my hesitancies were born from the fact that I knew deep down it wasn't going to _just _be a simple goodbye. Things were never simple between us. Why start now?

She was already there. Leaning against the walls of one of the pavilions. She had picked this place for us to meet one other time and I turned her down. Remembering that time and the feelings I felt made my stomach drop to my knees. I wrung my hands nervously and wondered for the 100th time what the hell I was doing. She was on her phone when I looked up at her. Probably texting her closest friend asking that person to talk her out of whatever was happening. She knew the same as I did that whatever happened tonight would be the end and people do stupid things when they think the end is near.

I cursed her in my mind when I approached. That goddamn red, polka-dot dress? Really? She seriously was so fucked up sometimes. She made me want to scream. Could she have picked anything more perfect? Probably not... And she knew that. She always fucking knew.

She finally looked up at me and smiled. "Hi," she said, softly but with courage. More courage than I had heard from her in a long time.

"Hey." My voice was shaking and I mentally kicked myself. I needed to get my shit together before she devoured me _and _my inability to say no to her and those legs.

"So, you're leaving."

"Yep. I'm leaving." I looked down at the ground. Seriously? "And you're staying."

"Yep," she echoed.

"Why did you want to meet? 'One last time,' as you so eloquently put it?"

She smiled at me when I finally calmed enough to bring my eyes to look up and into hers. "Because. Didn't you?"

Yes. "No."

"Really?"

Yes. Sigh. "No," I muttered. Fuck her for knowing me so well.

"Come sit down over here." She motioned to a blanket she had laid on the grassy area. She had already lit some candles. "Come on," she said as she ran her fingers down my arm and linked them with mine. I used to love when she would do that. And my heart told me with its quickening pace that I clearly still loved it.

I reluctantly followed her. "What are we doing?"

"I want you to lie down with me. Stop questioning everything and just do it."

My heart was in my throat. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the moment I laid down I was going to let myself wander into this territory that I had made myself leave behind. When I finally situated myself on the blanket, I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath that I had been holding in. "We really shouldn't be doing this. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," I heard her say. "Has that ever stopped us before?"

"That's not really the point." I looked over at her. Her gaze was fixed on the night sky, the stars twinkling brighter than I had seen in quite some time.

"I know we both have girlfriends," she whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear her. "I love mine. I know you love yours."

"Then?"

She rolled her head towards me, her eyes locking onto mine. "I am afraid I'll forget you."

My heart ached inside my chest. Those words made me want to die. "Heather," I breathed. I honestly didn't know what to say. I was afraid, too! I didn't want her to forget me, to forget how I made her feel when no one else was making her feel things. I didn't want her to wake up in 20 years and not remember how I had kissed her the first time over a glass of Gatorade. Or how the first time we made love neither of us slept. Or the numerous times we made out in her office. Or the time I took her on her desk and muffled her moans with my mouth. Or how we fought over the dumbest things like text messages and jeans and friends.

"I hate you so much sometimes," she said, breaking the deafening silence.

I smiled at her. "I hate you, too."

"But I still love you even more than that."

And that's when it happened. I rolled towards her and without thinking, I placed my lips on hers. And I kissed her for the thousandth time. I kissed her like I had never kissed her before. And in those moments, I knew that she could never forget me. She couldn't, because as long as we live, we'll always love each other. The way true love never fades and soul mates always stay connected.

I tugged gently on her bottom lip with my teeth and heard the soft moan that escaped her mouth. Her hands were snaking their way up my back and tangling themselves into my hair. "I still love you, too," I said against her lips, through the kiss, and into the air.


End file.
